Heaven (revisited)
Thursday, April 28, 2011 at 9:50AM I consider, Heaven," to be a creative triumph. Not that it is better than other songs that I have been a part of writing. It is just that it is a song that deals with something I have never written about in Jars of Clay songs before.
"The Long Fall Back to Earth," Is a record about relationships. It was written in a season when it felt like we were all hitting some significant walls in our marriages and friendships. We found that most days, love was not what we thought it was. It was something more potent and devastating and healing and scary.
I had been in the thick of it with some close friends who were clawing their way back to relational sanity. And most of the time it wasn’t working. The counseling and the changes in communication were not the silver bullets that they needed to destroy the wolf in the room that was devouring every last bit of compassion and empathy they could muster. The words that kept playing over in over is that some people are just "toxic" for each other. How do you fight for your own marriage while watching other people quickly lose that fight? How do you find the strength to walk another step closer to the people who have the potential to hurt you the most? Relationships are complicated. And still there are rewards for regarding them seriously and carefully.
I guess it should be said that these seasons happen. They happen to everyone. Marriage is a crucible. It doesn’t allow us to live fully in tact as we are. And most of us are too love struck to realize it in the midst of engagement and pre-marital counseling. We have a very romanticized view of marriage vows and that removes our ability to see too far into the future.
When I spoke the words, “in sickness and in health…for better or for worse…for richer or for poorer” I wasn’t thinking of the very worst versions of the human soul and heart. I was thinking of bringing soup and extra blankets. I was thinking that we would argue over which movie we were going to watch. I wasn’t thinking that it would mean that I would ultimately have to die to myself and that marriage was a means by which God can take the worst of who we are and bring it out into the light so that I would have to deal with it. And so with all of the relational complexities of the marriages around me, and my own, we set off to write a record that spoke plainly about the heart and our human interactions.
There are songs on the record that deal with father and son relationships. There are songs that deal with betrayal and the art of creating a real apology. There are songs about the duality of the heart, and our bent to want and deny relational intimacy. And there are love songs that speak to the longings of our hearts in the innocents of courtship. Also, there are songs about how hard it truly is to break down walls and feel truly close to someone.
So, how would a song about Heaven fit on a record like this? It wouldn’t. We had a pretty specific goal for the record, and we weren’t going to derail that goal by throwing a fluff song about heaven into the mix. I had also challenged myself to write lyrics that were completely organic and human. I would not use any lofty spiritual language. In the midst of the kinds of day to day wars that were going on in the lives of my friends and under my own roof, it was nothing more than an insult to use the vague throw-away language of disembodied religion and the worship culture to talk about love and hate and divorce and frustration the way I wanted to.
So if Heaven isn’t about Heaven, what is it about? It is most definitely a song about intimacy. But it would be safer to say that it is a song about sex.
We are not the first Christian band to write about sex. But we might have been the first to have our “sex” song picked as a Christian radio single. Our intent was never to fool anyone. But it was amazing to me that “Closer” off of the same record was not chosen as a radio song because it used the word, “skin” in the lyric. I was amazed that the word skin would be such a risk and that it would be considered crossing a line. I was frustrated that our Christian culture still finds need to choke any sense of true humanity out of our art and musical expressions. It was amazing to me that a song like “Forgive Me” was not used for radio in the U.S. because it was too relational and dark. But the one song that radio was willing to play was the song about the subject that is MOST taboo in Christian culture. I smiled every time I heard it on the radio.
We wrestled with the lyrics to that song for quite a while. It speaks to the gift of knowing someone so completely. It is a song that talks about how difficult it is to remove all the distractions of our world, all the voices and intrusions that break into a very important conversation. It was a song that did not use sexual language. In fact, when we were recording it, Duran Duran kept coming to mind. But it was songs like, Wild Boys, and Rio, and New Moon On Monday that we referenced. It wasn’t even their most sexually charged songs. To speak about sexuality as an experience that is closest to the kind of intimacy we would know with our God is risky and intoxicating.
I will again choose not to go lyric by lyric with this song, but will offer that you will probably hear something different the next time you listen to this one. J
Sex is not cheap. It isn’t disposable. It isn’t wrong. It isn’t against the rules. It isn’t shameful. So as some will get a hold of this and see it as a good excuse to pull the record from the shelves..(I hope we are far enough away from the culture that reacted so badly to Vigilantes of Love’s “Love Cocoon”) I hoped that this song will be an invitation to further widen the reach of what Christians can and should write about and express in our music, both in and outside of the church. I wonder how many Christian radio stations that played the song, Heaven” and liked it would have chosen not to play it had they known what it was really about.
Reader Comments (35)
I just love this song-probably my favorite on the album-though my son loves "Weapons", but he's 4 and is obsessed with Star Wars and Ninjas so what does he know!?! I had no idea about the meaning of this song though, so now I will have to censure it!!! Just kidding, you are so right about Christians and sex-how did we ever get so messed up to think that this amazing God-given gift is something to control and dominate and make people feel little and bad. I also really love the duality of this album; the relationship themes combined with the 80's vibe-I was a bit nervous when it came out, as I was much more committed to Rush and other geeky PURE music in the 80's than Duran Duran, but as always, you totally won me over. Thanks for continuing to make great, meaningful music. Now I'm just waiting for your prog themed album-maybe a 20 or 22 minute jars song...
I'm dying to go back to limited edition DVD and see what you guys said about this song. I'm pretty sure it wasn't this. :)
Good stuff, as always.
Well, that USED to be one of my favorite songs on TLFBTE.... and now I love it even more. :-D
I love it for its rockin' Duran Duran-inspired rhythm, and now I love it for its unabashed celebration of one of God's wonderful gifts to humanity. I do not understand why so many Christians consider sex to be a taboo subject. God created it and called it good.
I love the meaning behind this song! I have a 4 year old who loves to ask questions while we are driving in the car listening to music. I put a song on and he picks lyrics to ask me about. "mom, why did he say that? mom, what does that mean?" I love that you are revisiting songs. Sex is such a twisted mess from what it was meant to be. In my 35 years of life, I have only had 1 preacher do a sermon series on Song of Songs. It was those most beautiful display of Gods word and intention for sex that I have ever heard. I have 2 daughters age 9 and 6 and a son who is 4. We cannot even drive down the road without my daughters commenting on the trashy billboards. We fight for modesty for our girls daily and for respect from our boys to these girls. My daughters comment as we drove past a Hooter sign and then later a Tilted Kilt sign was; "Those Tilted Kilt girls make the Hooters girls look like church girls". I laughed, but it is really sad. I think the Christian stations need to acknolwledge our need for appropriate songs about sex within the boundries that God gave us. How else will our guiding them be backed up beyond the walls of our homes? Great Job!
i already liked this song alot... now i like it even more, thanks to you dan!
i've always seen jars as one of the artists that "gets it".. what i mean by "getting it" is that you guys don't like to play by 'the rules' just to get more airplay/ record sales/ thumbs up from the christian community/ etc... and yet i never seen you guys as trying to be edgy just to be "cool".. your songs seem to flow naturally and have an authenticity that seriously is lacking these days... and now that you explained "heaven", i appreciate it all the more.. not to mention i now know some key moments when to play it ;)
keep pushing those boundaries that bind true creativity..
BTW: my son and i met you in NJ back in 2008 after your performance at the music builds tour.. i remember having a nice chat with you about harry potter... great times..
Ha! As someone in radio, if anyone had a clue, they would've dumped it, and "Two Hands" too, just for good measure. For what's it worth, I thought "Long Fall" was a fabulously written record, for all the reasons you outlined. "Safe To Land" is so totally my mind and heart at times. Thank you for your authenticity.
Dan, thanks once again for inviting us into your experience of song writing. The Long Fall Down to Earth is a fantastic record, and Heaven and Boys (Lesson One) have to be my favourites on the album. Thank you also for being brave enough to challenge assumptions both in the CCM and mainstream environments.
i'm really really enjoying these posts about your lyrics. thank you so much for taking the time out to write them :) i've not been at all disappointed through any of your explanations, indeed they've added further life and dimension to the songs.
i've also been meaning to say how well you managed to capture the nature of songs in the 'lyrics, meaning and impending disappointment' post. i'm not a songwriter, and i do like a song to be 'about something' but there should also be a space between the work of the artist and the listener that the listener has to step forward to fill by bringing themselves to it, thus becoming part of the art, owning a little part and making it theirs. (it's the same with the best picture book artists - i'm a primary teacher by trade, and i love to help children fall in love with books like this)
it's funny, for a long time i was unaware of the story behind 'fly' from 'the eleventh hour', which i stumbled across somewhere on the web. over many years the song has been important to me and given voice to my own feelings as i brought my own meaning to it. i now have the words 'not letting go' inscribed on a necklace reminding me daily that whatever the day brings, tough times or not, God is not letting go of me, and my heart is to hold onto Him at all cost.
thanks again. looking forward to more glimpses behind the scenes!
submarines, gates open wide, we go undercover...
:) the jr. high part of me snickers...
You know, now they're going to assume all your songs are about sex and not play any, just to be safe. That tricky Daniel Haseltine and his indecipherable metaphors. I don't know what it's about, so it's probably something to do with sex.
Making sex taboo creates all sorts of problems. Telling kids it's immoral to even think about it until they're married warps sexuality. How can years of saying something is bad wash away the second you exchange vows? How do people recognize the difference between sexual abuse and love? How many people rush to get married much too young because they've had or want to have sex? How many never enjoy such a wonderful and essential part of life? How many never learn to tools to be safe?
I love the poppy '80s vibe on this album. Puts a spring in my step. Now I know why...
Probably will be different when hearing my children sing along with it out loud. Had my suspicions about the theme, but wasn't sure. Sex is definitely something to sing about!
It's kind of a tough situation for Christian radio stations. They know a good portion of their listeners are scared to death of conversations about sex. Some are even so uptight (for lack of a better word) as to set rules for AFTER marriage sex. So even if the radio station owner doesn't feel that way, he probably feels he has to be very careful. Even words like "I miss your skin" or "shivers down my spine" are going to get the Helen Lovejoy's among their listeners all in a tizzy.
And at the end of the day, they're a business which needs a certain number of listeners (and sponsers) to survive. Yeah, it's probably cowardly, but they've got a family to feed.
How long have you wanted to write a song like this, but were afraid to do so for fear of what it would do to your sales? (And even then it's far from obvious). Not being critical at all. It's got to be difficult balancing what you want to do artistically and knowing you have a responsibity to your family and your bandmates and their families to make a living at this.
Oh. My. Goodness. I now love this song 100 times more now that I know what the song is about. It makes me really irritated that radios rejected "closer" because of "skin"!!! Ugh. This boils my blood. I appreciate the fact that this song is a song about intimacy--Both between husband and wife and bride and Bridegroom. It enhances this song so much more for me. Thank you!!
Dan, this is a cool, unsolved mysteries (now solved) post. A part of me wonders why you weren't just upfront from the beginning and let people know that the song's about sex. I wonder if that had anything to do with a fear of the potential controversy it would've caused, since obviously the song wouldn't have gotten any radio play. If you could do it again, would you go about it the same way? I think part of the issue that causes sex to be so taboo in Christian culture is that it's not talked about from the perspective that you present in this blog post. Let's get it out there, let's talk about it. Then it wouldn't have to be this secretive, untouchable topic. What do you think?
Really glad you clarified that, the lyrics mean so much more now.
Going over the lyrics in my head, I can see it now. It's a little disturbing... not offensive, just making more use of euphemism than I would expect.
Personally, TLFBTE came out at a weird time for me given its subject matter. Some friends of mine were going through what ended up being a nasty divorce. Other couples and friends had ongoing issues too. (Incidentally, it wasn't just TLFBTE--I remember C.S. Lewis's chapter on marriage in Mere Christianity, for example, being on my mind as I'd read it recently.) As one of the few single people left in my circle of friends, it's frustrating to have the understanding of relationships that you're talking about here--sacrifice and deliberate action over emotionalism--when so many in established relationships don't seem to be willing to go that far. It's hard to look back on a history of rejection and square that against someone bending over backwards to win back the attention of a person who has hurt them so badly.
One thing that bothered me about TLFBTE is that most of the songs (Don't Stop, Closer, etc.) don't allow for the possibility of the other party shutting down communication or abandoning the relationship. If you assume that both parties are committed in those stories (and I assume you do) it's admirable, but without that understanding there's some language that sounds stalker-ish. I've wondered if there wasn't some significance (intentional or not) to the fact that the most innocent song on the album is the only one where the (inexperienced) 'main character' sees abandonment and rejection as a possibility.
TLFBTE is, to me, one of your "perfect albums." Thanks for sharing about the personal situations you've gone through. ...I've always kind of felt like it must be a little annoying for your wife to have so few "love songs," written about her. One of the only marriage songs I deciphered in years past was "Water Under the Bridge," - not the most romantic. But, as someone who has gone and continues to go through the thick of it, I appreciate your honest and raw assessment of the realities and pain and frustrations that face almost every marriage. Most songs that deal with marriage on Christian radio have more of an "I married you, and I love you!!!" theme... but how disheartening can that be to those who have to walk through real, excruciating troubles. How alone so many people will feel if the community continues to avoid honest conversations.
Thanks, and keep it up! (And explanations help, too.) :)
So many times, I hear songs whose lyrics touch me in one way or another and I wonder "what were they thinking when they wrote this?", "is it real?". I enjoy your dissections of the lyrics that you write for a variety of reasons, but two important ones are that you answer the questions I ask when I hear the songs... love your stuff and enjoy your tweets. My late husband, rest his soul, had a dry sense of humor that was funny in a way that even he didn't understand. I enjoy your dry humor and sense of fun. gina
LOL! Jars of Clay sex song on the radio for the win! I need to call up my local station and request it now...
Dylan, I agree with your comment. There's something missing in that collection about letting go, being alone, giving up old hopes and expectations. Some relationships should and do end. There isn't always a reason to fight to continue them. As an old married lady, I sometimes forget my single days. My husband and I have reason to work on understanding and staying together. We've seen other friends and family around us divorce and agreed that we don't want that. So at the moment, we mutually want to grow old together and continue to be married, even though we started so young and didn't know what that meant at the time.
There might be a light has that pining, almost stalker-like quality to it. It reminds me of my old crushes, where I'd hope he could only see me and like me back. There are sparks that only glow one way sometimes, and they burn something painful.
Add me to the list of those outraged by "Closer" being kept off the radio by the word "skin".
A tremendous pop song with some of the sweetest, purest expressions of love that side of "She's Got Whatever 'It' Is" and they ax it over "I miss your skin"???? GRRRRRRRR
I wholeheartedly agree with you on christian culture suffocating the humanity out of music. It's something I've come to appreciate more from you all as I've gone through the albums I do have of Jars and from this blog. It's also a reason I've given up on "mainstream" christian music and prefer such artists as Red, Project 86, and Demon Hunter (that and I'm more a metal person anyway). It's sad when I know a song is "Christian" just from how it sounds, even if I don't know the station!
bahaha I had no idea. This post challenges me, though-and scares me to death. I've only been married a year and half and I think I had a pretty realistic view, but still was surprised by how badly it hurts to die to myself every day-oh and discovering how many issues I really do have. I don't think many other christians are honest about their marriage struggles. It's "too personal." we believe it should be kept between the couple. I struggle with this too-but then how will we ever hear truth outside of our own struggles and how will we know that our struggles are normal and not a reason to give up if others aren't helping us?
Dan, I think your most poignant comment for me was that "God gave us marriage so as to have to bring the worse sides of ourselves out into the open to deal with it." I have to often remind my wife, when she says, "It's amazing I love you and married you when sometimes you bring out the worse in me." This is where I put on the brakes. This is when I pull over and lovingly say, "No baby. It's marriage, and the pressures of being in the face of difficulties with no easy answer that helps bring it out and I am close enough to share the frustration." If you were married to someone else this situation would bring out the same response from you. So don't confuse our chemistry with the situation. And, I believe it was Martin Luther who said that, our faith is like a candle we carry that illuminates our shadow. It is entirely biblical to acknowledge our own darkness when illuminated by the light of HIS living love. Conversely, when we begin to censore our darkest promptings, when we begin to cover our tracks and put on a face is when we change God's garments for a mere fig-leaf. And, when commerce does this to art as honest spiritual expression applied to real life it reminds me of the tables turned over in the temple in a sense. And, yet, since your art is a "commercial art" you have to walk the tightrope of integral honesty and the politics of the airwaves. Yet, you do this admirably. I do agree that "Closer" was the preferable single. I grew up with the 80s synth pop that is the rage once again. And "Heaven" fits right in. But, "Closer" is more original by fusing the Euro-pop with electronica by bands like Postal Service. "Closer" is very charming and innocent and would be perfect in a movie where love is born out of a trying and nihilistic earlier struggle as a rebirth of sorts.
Wow. This song just got a whole lot more interesting... *grin*
Hi Dan. Once again this is Bill from the show in St. Louis/Belleville. (It is my post 2 posts higher.) Since the topic of our fallen side is the topic of the day I should continue what I wanted to say in Belleville. That the fallen side of the individual is something people hate to face because acknowledgement of it creates pain and the damage it causes is an additional source of pain. And, it seems to me that addicts who choose a path to recovery have to face their actions and personal darkness in order to heal. Thus, many of these people become more practical and honest with their FULL SELVES and then respondingly GIVE their full selves to the God for "spiritual management" which is the opposite of wearing a public face which is an image Jesus used when siting a "hypocrite's mask". And, marriage will eventually strip away all false/ or alternatively genuine kind faces at some point. The project on Tommy Bolin I told you about is important because he was a beautiful person and the child of an x-Carmalite nun who lost himself to the excess of the day that he used to numb the pain of his father physically abusing his mother and trying to live up to the excessive ambition his abusive father had for him via his chosen career. This, combined with the excesses of 70's oriented fame eventually swallowed up his truest purest identity and then eventually his life. So, I became intensely interested in resurrecting lost identity and creative purity by having other artists complete his life's work which included these wonderful lost songs. For, I believe the resurrection will restore the innocence of those who receive him like a little child and it can also, as up to God, restore and correct the parts of ourselves that we could not deal with successfully. Here is a link explaining this and it happens to be the hardest rock of the collection but music is music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngY4kyAltHw