Frail (revisited)
Sunday, October 9, 2011 at 4:08PM Since the first time I heard it, I wanted Jars to make something of it. The trance-like guitar pattern came from a cassette tape in the possession of Stephen Mason. He didn’t think much of it really. I assume he was just being humble. He had used the musical bit as part of a submission for a music scholarship to Greenville College.
Even if he thought nothing of it, it had an academic value of $300. Which was the reward for winning the scholarship. Having spent the last few years in the haze of artists like, Enigma and Deep Forest, and the Future Sound of London, this guitar bed conjured a great sense of atmosphere and melancholy that needed to be exploited much further. So I asked Steve if we could use his idea and build something out of it. He agreed.
We held up in the third floor studio at the college, I had just recently purchased a new sampling synth to grow our collective arsenal of keyboards that was at first, a Roland W-30, A Korg M1, a Korg 01W, to now include a Kurzweil K2000S.
I only bring up the keyboards because they each played a vital role in the experimentation of Jars in the early 90’s. Frail might not have found it’s way on to a recording if it were not for a dark synth sound that we discovered on the K2000S.
It was that synth sound and a drum sample that Depeche Mode had left clear and clean for the taking on their “Songs of Faith & Devotion” record.
I believe our recording of Frail that exists on the original demo recording is still one of my favorite moments from that project. But even as cool as that recording was, I knew we were not finished with that musical bed yet.
Even though we did not record a version of Frail for the self-titled release, the mood and space of that song was an important anchor for every record we made. We would keep writing for each record in search of a song that captured that mood. No record was complete without our “frail moment.” The first record was covered with “Worlds Apart” and with “Blind.”
We began writing for “Much Afraid,” in a house that was being rented from our A&R man. It was one of the first things I wanted to tackle for the next record. It was definitely an overwhelming task. I had not realized how much weight I had given the music until I attempted to write lyrics to it. I was painfully aware that lyrics could ruin such a beautiful piece of music.
I have not had many moments like this in my life. I have not had any moment since this one time. I dreamt the lyric to frail. It was almost a complete idea in my head. I woke up and wrote the lyric on a blank page in the back of a book I had been reading. I tore the page out and took it in the next day when we were writing.
Some people look at life and they relish the idea of getting older. Some people do everything in their power to reverse any effects of aging. I have always had a bent toward the mournful side of getting older. It stems from an acute understanding both in observation of others close to me, and in my own story of innocence interrupted. It is the reality that the human story is bound to hold chapters that take us through suffering. We will witness and experience life in ways that grow us up, and make us stronger, or bitter, or more sensitive, or more fearful. We will walk through it, and that moment just before we enter those places, like driving down a highway, looking out as a torrential rain covers our path ahead, and we sigh. We can’t get around getting older. We don’t even know we have been so naïve until we are enlightened.
We enter into suffering because it is in our DNA, and it is woven so carefully into our fabric that we cannot avoid it. Avoiding it would mean denying our very being.
I still feel that sense of mourning when I watch kids stepping on the path, mostly unaware of the rains ahead. I miss that place, even as I am thankful to be where I am. In tension.
This is the place where Frail exists.
There are few songs that I have loved performing night to night. The string arrangement courtesy of Ron Huff produced by Stephen Lipson, has grown on me. I remember not liking it at first because it seemed so grandiose. I wanted it to be smaller. It has grown on me, just as the entire Much Afraid record has.
Even as I write this, the song continues to evolve, as we are reaching even farther with it for our next tour… stay tuned. J
Reader Comments (14)
Good to see another blog post. Can't get enough of the revisitations!
I have always liked this song. Now I love it even more, because I have a similar idea about getting older.
Thanks for revisiting it for us.
At last! I was waiting for Frail to come up. Frail, along with Something Beautiful and Worlds Apart, are my top three Jars' songs. There is something so deep within this song that resonates to the core of my being. It evokes emotion that is almost beyond being able to describe. After reading your words, I now know why. Suffering is envitable and we all have a different path. And none of us would voluntarily choose our paths. But, after my four years of intense suffering, I have come out this side a wiser, deeper, and stronger, woman - but still frail in my own way. I do love the strings version! It adds a layer of depth that cries out to a weary soul. This one is a must to keep on the play list!
What a fascinating history to the song, and I look forward to hearing more details on its future!
Frail has been my favorite song ever since the album came out. Holds deep meaning for me. Thank you for dreaming it and writing about it now.
Missed your writings Dan. Not a criticism, just a truth :) As a beginner guitarist some years ago, I decided that when I could master Frail and play it beautifully and confidently on guitar, I would have "made it" as a musician. I'm not sure my rendition has ever been beautiful, but I've certainly enjoyed attempting to do it justice. It is a beautiful song.
Frail is definitely one of those golden moments in Jars' repertoire over the years. It doesn't surprise me that you dreamt the lyric(s?) to Frail. Sometimes my best ideas come to me while I'm almost asleep: when the subconscious mind discovers intrinsically connected feelings and images and weaves them together in a way that the analytical mind could never do.
~Derek
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. And your writing continues to challenge and inspire me through both strong and difficult seasons. What a debt of gratitude!
Love this song, how it started as a tune and then got its lyrics. It is fascinating to me the way you guys get together and create your music. Even after studying music a number of years, I am still blown away by people who have the God given talent to improvise and create music even if I can't understand how you do it. I am gradually adding your albums to my music library and am especially pleased that my wife really likes JoC too. I'm starting to understand and really appreciate what you mean about being an alternative Christian band. I hope you won't mind a bit of "churchy" language, though, if I say JoC music ministers to me when I seem to need it. Take care.
Frail's the kinda song that grows with you. What the young don't know about age is that after one hits adulthood, one doesn't feel older. Eventually joints ache, and one may be irritated at whippersnappers, and yell for those kids to get off the lawn. But mentally, most adults say they still feel 20-something. Even in their 80s. Occasional frailty is required at many stages of life, not only for the elderly. And that is where I think this song continues to ring true. If I were not so weak, if I were not so cold, if I were not so scared of being broken... That is the recurrent struggle you don't lose with youth or age.
"A rose can never lie about the love it brings" is a brilliantly awesome lyric. ♥
Frail has touched me a lot over the years, yet now I see the subtle irony as it is literally impossible for us to be weak, cold, afraid, broken, or old ... perception is such a powerful jailer. Love delivers so many of your songs to you on a silver platter. Let's give credit where credit is due shall we? :)
Looking forward to seeing you all in a few weeks!
Can't begin to put into words what finding your blog and reading it the past two nights has meant to me (night-shifter...this week). Frail has always meant a great deal to me, but as the past two years have brought me to the end of myself, and finally into the beginnings of a sincere walk with God, it's meaning has only increased. I was recently brought to tears yet again by this song, had to pull over, and before I could compose myself a sheriff's deputy stopped and asked what was wrong. I actually told him exactly why I was there and what had happened, and he just asked if I was "going to be OK". At age 47...I am finally able to answer in the affirmative.
I have no giftings in the creative, artistic, or musical worlds...but it has been about the only thing that has moved me to emotionally connect with life. I am now learning to also connect with other humans on an intimate level...but it is scary. Your honesty about your journey through life has been inspiring and comforting. Thank you for giving of yourself...it matters...it matters so very much. Please keep writing.
Water to my soul once again. Thank you...
Still my favorite Jars song after all these years and so many great albums. But what is being said quietly in the instrumental??!?! Maybe my speakers aren't great, but I've always wondered why that's in there. Atmosphere, or something different? Help a brother out.